Friday, July 20, 2007

Nose Dripping Heroine

The scene is twenty-something year old girl sits on the 23rd St. crosstown bus battling a serve cold involving nose blowing that sounds like a fog horn and a deep phlemy cough.

Cue: The most gorgeous guy New York City has ever seen walks onto the 23rd St. crosstown bus at 3rd Ave. and sits directly across from our sickly heroine.

Girl tries with all that's left in her to refrain from releasing the fog horn. Finally gorgeous guy gets off the bus at 7th Ave., 4 avenues later which seems like an eternity for our nose dripping dame.

Once gorgeous guy's foot has been released from the final step on the bus girl clutches her bag for her last remaining tissue.

Ease and comfort has finally been bestowed upon our heroine, and she continues to ride the bus to 9th ave.

End scene.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Viva Las Vegas!!

So my much too short trip to Las Vegas included the following hi-lites!

~Playing my first game of Black Jack! Of course not winning anything but still it was a milestone.

~Seeing the boys of American Storm show me their rear ends from the front row! They were sooo hottt, but sadly no frontals. Not sure if I'd really want to see that anyways. It was a great show but its funny how they grab the ugliest women in the audience to do on stage "demonstrations." Twice, they grabbed this one toothless hick of a woman wearing those light blue shorts that come up just above your beer gut. I wonder what the rationale behind that is.

~Going to the Michael Buble concert!!! I'm in love all over again.

~Went to the hott new night club Pure at Ceasar's Palace and saw Lindsey Lohan. She seemed pretty sober. The Pussycat Dolls performed and they are AMAZING. I might quit my job and train to become one of the dolls. It was incredible the amount of Asian and Indians at this place. Maybe b/c the boys had to wait in a separate line that was twice the size of the girl's line. American boys don't have the patience for things like that I guess.

Overall a fabulous trip. I'd go back once I have a lot more disposable money to spend.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Girl Walks into a Bar

Girl walks into a bar, another girl walks up to her and says, "Can I buy you a fish sandwich?".....that's all I got.

-Tales from the weirdos at Jersey Shore

That's almost as bad as the guy at Jenkinsens who said my friend's bag looked like a picnic basket and asked if she had any chicken in there.