Friday, March 23, 2007

Men are like shoes

If Carrie Bradshaw has not already made this comparison, I am. First of all I don't understand how woman can have a shoe fetish, I HATE shoe shopping. And I compare it to dating...You're all excited at first, you look out and see a bunch of worthy prospects. Some are really cute, some sophisticated, dark ones light ones and so on. Then you move to the next step. You go up to the shoe and start to get to know it. You look for your size only to find a.) they don't have it or b.) once you try it on its hideous, an awful fit. You start to get agitated, move on, try another one, same thing happens, finally you settle just because you need new shoes. Then you'll either wear the shit outta them and throw 'em out the next season, or leave them in your closet with the rest of the impulse buys. Oh the joy of being a woman.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Personal NY Moment

Last night I went to see my friend James Maddock's band play. He's this really endearing 40 somthing, british guy with this cute smile...ANYWY (you all know i have a thing for older guys but that would just be a little much, mom and dad would love that one, they thought Colorado was bad hahah) I was there with Colleen but she had business to take care of then went back to Long Island. So I sat there with my half drunken Amstel Light $3 special with the seedy cocktail waitress bothering me for another every now and then. I put my feet up and back against the exposed brink and just took in the music. He's fabulous, he has great lyrics and a great sound. Kinda reminds me of a Phil Collins wraspy throaty sound. It was great, i didn't care that i was alone or had no one to enjoy it with, I just did something for myself. When it was over I got myself into a cab and went home. It was a very NY moment as I walked the street of downtown, exploring this new area with an overflowing sense of satisfaction. My favorite lyrics were, "don't go on without me, lets go on together, don't get lost without me, lets get lost together."

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Oldies but goodies

Here are some of my past favorites:

The one about my trainer drinking from my water bottle...
So yesterday at the gym when my hott trainer accidentally took a sip out of my water bottle my head shot into a fantasy about how its kinda like us indirectly kissing...okay very indirectly kissing. I rode with this fantasy until while on the stretching table one of is other clients asked how it was living with his new girlfriend. Suddenly I felt like my head was a balloon that someone just let the air out of and now was flying all over the room.

Banana on the seat...
It's amazing what people will do to make sure that no one sits next to them on the bus. Some put their brief cases, or oversized pocketbooks, today i saw a man put a banana on the seat next to him, yes thats right a banana. "Excuse me sir could you move your banana so i can sit in that seat?"

Pit bull peeing...
There is something cute about a man asking his pit bull if he would like to pee. "You wanna pee Blade, c'mon Bladdey go pee."

Cop on horse...
So what level would you say a cop on a horse is in terms of tourist attraction? B/c i saw the cop on the horse and was like oh thats cool, but then when i walked by the nyc bus tour stop all the tourists went nuts! takin pictures and stuff, so i said to myself, should I not have gotten as excited as i did? In my quest for becoming a metro city girl that might have been a step in the wrong direction.

Clothes need an age limit
So I went shopping for some new fall clothes this weekend and I surprisingly found a lot of good stuff in Wet Seal. For anyone who knows what that store is, it's probably for girls age 13-17. But the prices were good and I found some decent clothes. However, when i got home and reviewed my buys I thought twice about the black leggings with the little cherries on them. I think clothes and fashion should have an age appropriate level, like toys. "Not appropriate for women over 22!" Maybe i'm just destined to one of those middle aged women that still shop in the teenage girl stores.

The fart...
So I was pretty sure my walk down 8th Ave. was going to be normal today, until I get ready to cross the street to my building when a i'd say 48 year old man decides to fart, it was loud and proud, and i just plastered that NY-i-don't-give-a-shit look on my face.

Dog poo in the middle of the street...
As I was walking down 9th Ave. today crossing 47th street i noticed right in the dead center of the street was a pile of dog poo. This site provoked many questions in my head. For one, what dog has that much time to do his business in the middle of a NYC street and why would his owner allow this? For those of you that know dogs, they usually go to the bathroom in the same spot all the time. The owner is gonna have to stop traffic so the dog can do his thing in the middle of the street! I can just picture some guy holding his hand out to traffic, "Hold on, sorry my dog just has to poo here, it's his favorite spot."

I'm a latte...
So on my way home last night on the corner of 9th and 47th I believe in front of the Starbucks, a black man called out to me "mmmmmmmmmm thats a fine lattee." I thought 1) how funny a little white girl is now called a lattee and 2) i'm now getting themed cat calls. So like now maybe if I walk infront of the fruit and vegetable market the guy stocking the veggies will say, "now thats one hot potato!"

The boxer...
Today I saw a big black man walking down 8th Ave. in spandex biker shorts, an American Flag bandana with big red boxing gloves on. He proclaimed that the doctor was in as he punched his way down the street. I love NY.

City Rats
I'll admit while I'm waiting for the subway train to come I really hope to see some rats just to entertain myself while the time goes by. I was waiting for the R train to arrive in Brooklyn the other day in hopes of seeing some Brooklyn rats. Then I thought I wonder if the rats in different areas of the city reflect the people that live in those areas. Like are the rats in Chelsea and the Village gay? What about those midtown rats are they broadway divas or the 5th ave fashionistas? I bet the male rats have no personality...they are just rats looking for their next meal and their next hump.

My first time!

Hello to all my avid away message readers! My friend Colleen has been bugging me to create a blog so these words of mine will be forever archived on the internet. I never thought these random thoughts would become so popular and I am very happy to provide to all you procrastinators and those searching to be relieved from your boredom. Please feel free to post your thoughts and reviews!